Rogue Zombie: The main protaganist. Seeks to get stuff from everybody else. Likes MONEH.

Conehead Duke: One of Zombie King's various dukes. Apparently he and the Envoy make every decision for the King.

Zomgrid the Wizard: He seems to see a random Wizard Zombie as a Wizard, and p**ses him off. Is possibly the dumbest Wizard ever.

Zombie King: The main antagonist who sends his Cavalry, Conehead Duke, the Envoy, Various peasants and other zombies to catch that Thief.

Envoy: The right-hand man of Zombie King. Is technically the King's "slave".


The King's Cavalry: A bunch of idiotic Knight and Cavalry Zombies. They do everything the King says, but usually the wrong way.

Various peasants

A recurring Wizard Zombie: Has anger issues.

An angry Magnet-shroom: Attracts extremely out-of-the-place items and then throws them back. Is the criminal of the month.


Part 1 - IntroductionEdit

*The curtains roll apart, showing a dark alley.*

*A poster saying "The Zombie", with the last words scribbled away, appears.*

*Shortly after that, another poster saying "of Steel", with the "e" replaced with an "a" blows by.*

Rogue Zombie: "Brainz! I see rich peoplez with gold brainz! BRAINZ! I MUST HAZ ZEM!"

*Rogue Zombie sneaks out of the alley, and walks along with the other peasants*

Rogue Zombie: "Yoink!" (Steals a gold ingot from the rich zombie.)


Rogue Zombie: "Pfft, idiot."

Various Peasants: "Thief?!"

Peasant B: "It must be that Magnet-shroom! He attracts metal!"

Peasant C: "Idiot! Gold isn't magnetic!"

Peasant B: "IT IS!" (Beats up Peasant C, and then the Executioner Zombies arrive)

Rogue Zombie: "Crud, the Executioners! I must run!" (Runs away)


Zombie King: "Maaah...boii...saavee....mee....."

*The Envoy flies in on his magical brain carpet*

Envoy: "Your majesty, you are drunk."

Zombie King: "NO"

*The Envoy makes an O RLY face*

Zombie King: "Fine, I am. Luckily, this Brain of Wis-"

Brian: "Did someone call me?" (Runs in)

Zombie King: "..."

*Brian gets flung out of the castle*


Zombie King: "Anyways, the Brain of Wisdom here shall be-" (Takes out the Brain of Wisdom, which apparently seems to be gone.)

Zombie King: "NOOOO! Where is the Brain?"

Envoy: "Rogue Zombie and his Level 69 of Sneakiness have seiged the Brain."

*Dramatic music plays as Zombie King is shock-*

Envoy: "Too cliche."

Zombie King: "NO. Rogue Zombie MUST DIE!"

Zombie King: "Gee, I'm so bored, SEND OUT THE CAVALRY."

*Extremely messed up trumpet is heard*

Knight Zombie #1: "Alright Mr. Kingly King of Kingly Kings. You called?"

Zombie King: "Yes. You must kill Rogue Zombie."

Knight Zombie #1: "Durpity derpity doo k den."

Knight Zombie #2: "HEY FELLAS LET'S GO."

*The Cavalry Zombies stampede a few random guards in the castle before running out*

Knight Zombie #1: "WAIT, MOVE IT-" (Gets squashed along with Knight Zombie #2)

Rogue Zombie: (Whistles, then sees the Cavalry Zombies running over everybody) "Oh no." (Runs away)

*Messed up trumpet is heard, again*

Knight Zombie #3: "GET THE ROGUE!"


Zomgrid the Wizard: "But Harry, you're a wizard!"

Wizard Zombie: "MY NAME ISN'T HARRY!" *Zaps Zomgrid, and the Knights, causing the horses to fall on one another, eventually causing a mass of dead zombies and horses.*

Rogue Zombie: "Huh, that was an epic fail."

*Back at the castle...*

Envoy: "Your majesty, a certain Harry Potbie has made the entire Cavalry...

Envoy: "DDEED."

Zombie King: *Makes an annoyed face* "Okay, you and Conehead Duke shall go and take the Rogue Zombie here where I will ship him with Jester-nado and he will show him no mercy."

UnarmedPotatoMine This fanfic is currently under construction!

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