For those who don't know what ricer is...

A ricer is a person who spends his cash just to buy some s**tty a*s body kits, fart can exhausts, 3 feet spoilers, annoying vinyls, lots of sponsor stickers, etc. that doesn't even improve the performance of their car, but instead ruins their performance AND makes the car look ugly as a pile of s**t. It's different from a tuner. A tuner usually buys performance parts (e.g. engine, transmission, ABS, etc.) for their cars, which literally improves the performance, and they usually avoid buying those useless "ricer kit" (i.e. those mentioned above).

R: Race

I: Inspired

C: Cosmetic

E: Enhancements

Ricer is basically a person that does it.


I'm a car tuner, and I love tuning those Audis, Caddies, Corvettes, and many more sports cars. I usually just buy performance parts without adding those useless "extras" like body kits, sound systems, or huge exhausts. For me, stock visual parts are enough for me. Also, quieter exhausts are better, and manufacturers usually put stock exhausts that are quiet, so I usually don't need to buy more, unless if it wasn't quiet enough.

I hate those ricers that make useless visual enhancements to their cars. In fact, their cars look even worse. They usually rice up imports such as Civics (which is the most ricer-abused car), Lancers, Eclipses, and many more, probably because they're cheap in price. Well, what they actually do is to put lots of stickers, 3 feet spoiler, and mess up the camber, and they said it "improves performance" while in fact it's not.

So, one day, I met one of those ricers at a freeway. I knew that he's a ricer because he put those huge a*s exhaust on his car, and revs it up like crazy. Sure enough, he challenges me to do an outrun race. Well, at first, I ignored him, but the moment he's about to slam his car to my CTS, I quickly dodged it. Then, he races with me. Well, his car is reeeeeally slow, and I laughed inside my car looking at his struggling poor Civic that tries to race my good a*s CTS. When he and I stopped at a red light, I opened my window, and shouted "You better race me with that super fast Civic!" to him, obviously for sarcasm, and he quickly closed his window. It didn't actually end there. He kept following my car and when I noticed this, I immediately went to an open parking lot, exited my car, then talking to him with angry tones.

Me: "Why the f**k did you follow me?"

Ricer: "To race with you."

Me: "Well, I'm not interested, a**hole."


Me: (calls 911) "I'm calling the cops. Good luck escaping them with your rice car. And good luck waiting for the V-TEC to kick in!"

911: "This is 911. Need any help?"

Me: "Yeah. There's a person that tries to do some burnouts here. Also, he kept following me before he stopped here and doing burnouts. I think he's gonna do something bad to me."

911: "Can you tells us your location, please?"

Me: (opens my car's trunk, takes a nail gun, and comes to his car and pops his car's tires with it) "Um, I think I'm on 73 East Street. There's a parking lot somewhere around here, and I'm here waiting for this guy to be arrested."

911: "OK. Backups will come in a few mins. Just hold on."

Me: "Thank you."

Ricer: "Yo, you call cops?"

Me: "Yup, and they gonna come soon. Have fun! And oh yeah, I popped your tires so good luck trying to get your car to work."

Ricer: "No way. Lemme start it up."

A moment later...

The cops came and when he saw this, he was in a complete shock. He tried to run away with his car but it's running really slowly, and sure enough, he was busted. I watched it from the lot. It's really funny that he struggled, trying to drive the car away even when the cop already came close. I couldn't hear what they said since I'm pretty far from him, but he was arrested, and forced to get inside the cop car. He then found me in the lot and...

Cop: "Hi there! You're the person who called us, right?"

Me: "Yeah, and he wreaked havoc right here. Just look at this video. This is a good capture of him doing some burnouts."

Cop: "Nice capture. We'll use it as an evidence. May we have it? It could be used for an evidence."

Me: "Of course. You can take my SD card if you want to. I have too much of them in my house, since I'm also a phone reviewer."

Cop: "Thank you. And, hey, did you pop his tires?"

Me: "Yeah. I shot them with my nail gun I left on my trunk for weeks. Actually, I bought it to fix some stuff in my house, but ended up unused since I realised that I already have one of them."

Cop: "Oh. Nice job there. You've just stopped him from doing havoc any further."

Me: "Oh, don't mention it."

Cop: "Well, have a good time!"

Then the cop drove his car away, to a police station (obviously). Well, I came home after this, and just learned a lesson:

Don't be a ricer.

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