Hi there. This is my second Fan Fiction (or 3 if you count sequels) , just if you want to know.
And yes, as title suggests, Beet, the un-beet-able star of Adventures, is going to battle Bonk Choy, a plant that lacks the word "mercy" in its dictionary. Well, if it even had one.
Round 1[]
Narrator: It was the year 2016. A year of pain and destruction. Plants vs. Zombies 3 was going to release, and the Developer Team (A.K.A. the supreme king of all existing fictional angiospermae) selected all the returning plants, which will appear on the LIST and star on Plants vs. Zombies 3.
Squash (playing video games with Bonk Choy) : how si goyng bok
Bonk Choy: I am going to win. I am on that list! Now all I have left to do is win that trophy and I will---
(somebody knocks on the door)
Bonk Choy: Hold on Squ. I'll answer it.
"Squ": K
(Bonk Choy goes to the door)
Somebody: Knock Knock
Bonk Choy: Whooooo's there?
Beet: (slams door)
Beet: YOU OWN ME SOMETHING.
Bonk Choy: Whoa. Wait a minute.
Beet: (beets* Bonk Choy)
*side note: For a plant being beet-en is like a really hard punch.
Beet: YOU! THEY PUT YOU ON THEIR LIST!
Bonk Choy: Wait. Let's not act with violence.
Beet: (beets Bonk Choy really hard) Violence? Violence who? "Violence" is the name of those who--
Bonk Choy: (Punches Beet in the face)
Beet: (angry look) You know.............(shows tooth) this is mine......
Beet: (Punches Bonk Choy)
Bonk Choy: (blood draining from his mouth) you sthnow...sere iss onlee uan way to solve sisss..
Beet: WEAPONS!
(Beet runs away as fast as it can)
5 minutes later
Squash: aim tri or meibi 4 idk i cant cunt for getin FINAL PRIZE Coool no Bok?
Squash: (looks around) Bok? BOK? WHERE ARE YOU BOK???? well idk maybe he left
Squash: oh and btw there is a spyckrok in ur becyard
(random screaming is heard)
Squash: nvm
Round 2[]
Garlic-like plant: (goes in front of the weapons store) s'time to close the doors, ol' buddy. We aint no cashaday ye' to morrow will!
(beet arrives at the weapons store)
Beet: (sweats and coughs) Is it closed? Are you the shopkeeper? Is anybody following me? Nice moustache.
Garlic-like plant: Yes, yes, yes and thank you.
Beet: May I....(coughs)
Shopkeeper: YEAH! I DIDN'T HAD A CUSTOMER SINCE LAST EASTER!
Shopkeeper: Take these keys! Use the right key.
Beet: (opens locked doors) Hey, what is the right--
Bonk Choy: (slams door on the inside out) Have you noticed something differrent at me? Like THIS GIANT MALLET WHO IS GOING TO SMASH YOUR BRAINS?????
Random regular zombie: Brainssss.....
Beet: (surprised face) W-W-WHAT?
Shopkeeper: He paid me extra 20 dollars! Such a nice guy!
Beet: (even more surprised face) Oh, what? I thought-- (evil face) taking these guns won't do any harm to you today!
Bonk Choy: (Drops mallet) (Mallet destroys floor)
Shopkeeper: That is one extra 30 dollars sir!
NOTE: the following part was deleted due to "intense violence scenes".
Round 3[]
Sweet potato: Hello there!!!!! <3 <3 <3 XOXOXO
Bonk Choy: Where...where am I?
Sweet potato: You are at the plant recovery hospital! You were in coma for three weeks!
Bonk Choy: OH MAN. Today I should come at Crazy Dave's for the competion. To get to Plants vs. Zombies 3. I must win.
Sweet potato: SWEET! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Bonk Choy: By the way, what is your name?
Sweet potato: VIOLENCE!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 XO
Bonk Choy: Violence? Wait a minute--where is Beet?
Sweet potato: The thing is we will marry three days later! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 XOXOXOXOXOXOXO #lol #awesome <3 XO <3 Xo
Violence: Oh, and he said I must kill you. <#3 (evil face)
(Sweet potato stabs Bonk Choy in the eye)
Bonk Choy: OUCH! COME BACK TO ME!!!!!!!
Laser Bean in surgeon suit: Need help?
Bonk Choy: Yes, but---
(Laser Bean shoots a paralyzing laser beam to the Chinese plant)
Laser Bean: CUZ I AM SUCH A JERK!!1!!1!!
The final showdown[]
(Shopkeeper comes home from work)
Shopkeeper: Oh, is all ready 8'o'clok? No prob' I still got the Television on. Crazy Dave (from the T.V.): Welcome to the...ULTIMATE PLANT SELECTION! The only show on T.V. ever since Taco Bell Ads! (laughter) Here we will introduce the new plants and look for returning ones.
Penny: Question to User Dave.
Crazy Dave: What?
Penny: Why are we filming this on top of your giant plant incinerator?
Crazy Dave: WHY? BECAUSE I'M CRAAAAAZZZZYYYYYY!!!!!!!
Penny: [:/
Crazy Dave: ARE YOU READY?
Plants: YEAH!
Crazy Dave: I SAID ARE YOU READY?
Plants: YEAH!
Crazy Dave: NO SERIOUSLY ARE YOU--
Penny: User Dave, my computer calculates the competitors are ready. (I think I'll use a snazzy Courier font later)
Crazy Dave: OK, but let's meet our competitors first.
E.M.Peach: Gimme an E! Gimme an M! Gimme a PEACH!
Bowling Bulb: (hands over heavenly peach) There you go!
Fire Gourd: Na si quan chi soan ti de planz ze to!
Tangle Kelp: Is it just me or you ordered a pizza?
Snapdragon: (hands over pizza) There you go!
Iceberg Lettuce: I have an icy personality.
Peashooter: My sister has a better one.
Snow Pea: I'M A MALE!
Apple and Blueberries: Uhhh..ummm..can you hand the microphone to someone else?
(Beet wears a black fedora)
Beet: ...
Crazy Dave: Can you tell us anything? ... I mean, something?
Beet: *eyes catch fire* I AM GOING TO WIN!
Crazy Dave: That was a bit too much. Can you tell us where Bonk Choy is?
(Bonk Choy comes there with surgeon knife)
Bonk Choy: HERE!
Beet: (suprised face) What the...
Bonk Choy: THERE WILL BE BLOOD.
Crazy Dave: Now that everybody has shown up,...I think we should start the HUNGER GAMES.
Beet and Bonk Choy: WHAT?
(Ad suddenly pops out)
Try the taco bell's tacos!
They're delishuzz with brainz on top.
THE TRUE FINAL BATTLE THAT WILL DECIDE[]
Crazy Dave: 10:30 PM.
Crazy Dave: MY FAVORITE TIME TO START THE COMPETION1!!!!111111111 CUZ I'M CRAZY1!!!1!1!!
Bonk Choy: You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.
Beet: *deep breath*
Crazy Dave: OK. SO LET THE GAMES--
Penny: User Dave, one of the Bowling Bulbs is coughing.
Crazy Dave: ...
Crazy Dave: Shut.
Crazy Dave: DOWN.
Crazy Dave: EVERYTHING.
Shopkeeper: Hoo! What a borin of a show! Back to Dancing with the stars!
(Channel switched)
Chili Bean: Today I'll try to dance without farting. HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED
THE MOST TRUE FINAL STUFF I PROMISE THIS TIME PLEASE DON'T LEAVE[]
10 minutes later
Shopkeeper: I....must.....not....fall....asleep....
Chili Bean: (farts) (farts) (farts)
Shopkeeper: Woahh....... (involuntarely switches channel while falling asleep)
Crazy Dave: We've made a decision guys.
Penny: We will randomly choose somebody from each category.
Crazy Dave: For the three-laned plant title....
Penny: SNAPDRAGON!
Threepeater: Dang it.
Crazy Dave: And now for the punching plant title...
Beet: (big eyes)
Bonk Choy: (big eyes)
Crazy Dave: BEET!
Bonk Choy: After all that work...all that blood, sweat and tears....TEARS...
Bonk Choy: (Cries out loud)
(Squash suddenly appears on stage with the Mallet)
Squash: Y U NO BOK CHOY MY FRIEND?
Squash: (kills Beet with Mallet)
Bonk Choy: You saved me, "Squ"!
Squash: You own me 200$.
Bonk Choy: Oh man.
Bonk Choy: BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!!! (kills himself)
Crazy Dave: We call this a tie?
Penny: Well, I think a replacement from the "Lane-distracting category" will seem great!
Shopkeeper (arrives on stage): WAIT!
Violence (arrives on stage too): WAIT FOR ME!!!!!
Crazy Dave: And the winner is....
(Both of them battle each other to death)
Squash: hir wi go agane
Laser Bean: STILL I-M A JERK!!!!!!!!!
What happenned next[]
Shopkeeper's T.V. : Hey there gurl, wanna play?
Bonk Choy's Gaming console : Sorry, I'm out of Garden Warfare.
Chili Bean: (FARTS LOUDLY) Oops!
Shopkeeper's T.V. : *facepalm*
The End
BONUS POLLS!!!![]
<poll>
By the way, which would have deserve the victory this time?
Bonk Choy
Beet
NONE OF THEM
IDK
</poll\>